Happiness is about having fun


March 20th is International Day of Happiness. Think of something which will give you happiness and try to incorporate in your life.

Happiness is usually described asa mental or emotional state of well being characterized by positive or pleasant  emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy”. 1

Happiness is of such fundamental importance to the human condition that ” Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness  were deemed to be unalienable rights by the United States Declaration of Independence.

Life to me is in between being born and dying. A baby is born innocent and free from all the prejudices. We are not born angry, jealous, or for that matter, vindictive. But we are born happy and completely equal to each other. The baby is mostly gurgling, cooing and smiling without a care in the world and definitely not worried about religious, gender, monetary or political intolerance or in equality. So happiness is one behavior which is not learned and yet that is something we forget as we grow into adulthood.

Why would we choose to adopt the ways of the world by being angry, abusive, jealous, revengeful and petty in our behavior. These are what I call as learned traits. Some of us are better at holding on to happiness and others just simply forget it.

What gives us happiness as we grow older? It is different for everyone as we constantly strive to achieve it. For some, it can be as simple as being able to eat three meals a day, having or not having children, getting married (or not), having a car, house and all the materialistic things you can think of. For others it is about helping others, donations and of course having a meaningful existence. Neither thought process is wrong nor right. But they are really not the true meaning of happiness because they are all attached to a carrot which needs to be obtained to get your happiness.

To me, happiness is about having fun. Yes just pure solid fun in which we can enjoy nature, go for a walk/run, dance, sing, or find the inner baby in us. If you do something for a reason (be it good or bad) then that is not happiness. It is not about helping or destroying people. It is about you the person and the simple act of finding that action which reflexively gives you intense pleasure.

For now as we celebrate International day of happiness on March 20th as declared by United Nations think of something which will give you happiness and try to incorporate it in your daily routine. Go find your inner happiness while listening to this song from Pharrell Williams- Happy.

Un biased Respect.



What is it? Respect is defined as “a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.” Un biased respect is simply an admiration of someone, something or self just because they exist.

Respecting without necessarily attaching a clause of “abilities, qualities or achievements” is what I would call as un biased. It is an essential basis of trying to get us to raise above our fears, emotions, judgments and preconceptions.

We exist to make a difference in this world. This is what some of us believe and the rest just continue to live themselves. Living for self is natural but will not give you the satisfaction of existence. Change by adopting a new way of thinking in the form of un biased respect does not require a lot of turns down the road. It is quite simple, really.

Why is it necessary to attach a carrot at the end of anything we do for anyone or even for ourselves? Be it trying to be nice to someone just because they are likely to help you at some point in your life or even something as simple as smiling only if the other person “deserves” it according to your perception.

Agreed, that is what some of us grew up to believe that nothing is free in life and for that reason you do not give away anything free either.

Un biased respect will free you from those thoughts. Try it and it will liberate your thinking enough to let you concentrate on other more important things in life. We can not measure everything in life. Some of our thoughts and actions have to happen just because.

How do we break from the evil of wanting gratification at every turn?

Firstly remember that you need to respect yourself for this to work. Once you do that start thinking about your anxieties, apprehensions and fears. What do you like and what don’t you like. Next just free your mind from all the previous ways of dealing with other people, animals or things. Look at  everything carefully and respect them for just being there. Connecting self respect with respect for others will immediately give you a boost to enable your thought process to begin inoculating the seed of un biased respect.

Take it one person and one thing at one time. It is not complex. It is simply un biased.



Rage against females..


Is that really true? Recently my mind is totally blown away with news of atrocities against females be it in form of kidnapping of school girls in Nigeria, rampant rapes against ladies in India, or even local domestic violence issues involving ladies from all walks of life. They are not all poor. Infact, it has nothing to do with the location of these incidents or even the financial status of the females.

While I believe in total equality between women and men, I am beginning to get a feeling that it is not so equal and it may never be. The aggressors are men and the victims are females. The brutality of some of the rapes in India which have been covered in detail and then spread like wildfire in the social media brings to us a very interesting point in our life. The point is dangerous. These acts are bordering on violence of the ultimate kind. It is about the power and not about sexual gratification of the rapists or perpeterators. It is about a total lack of respect for one another. This constant exposure will either help us become totally desensitized  or get us to do something about it. I believe we as humans are capable of changing for the better- but how many crimes have to be committed before we turn the switch to a better us?

Most of us are content to spread the outrage we felt about the incidents but felt helpless to do anything. Each one of us has a power to change the word around us. We should all get together and change the mindset of violence one person and one locality at a time. No kind of abuse is acceptable. That means a person talking down to another person at home, work place or in public is as bad as raping and aggressive violence because both create havoc in the mind of the victim.

We humans are failing as a society. Seeing the images of two girls hanging from the tree after they had been sexually abused in India was the moment which made me realize of the presence of pure evil.

I have not quick answers or quick fixes. This is something which has to be changed over a period of generations. It is a mindset of developing un biased respect for another human being. Once we achieve that we will be in a position to make this world a better place for our children.